Jul. 26th, 2007

scary_manilow: (candy)
First things first: We're going to premiere a bunch of short films at the Jackpot on August first-- the screening is FREE, the booze is CHEAP, and the people are CLASSY!

movie night!

The first film starts at 9 pm, and if you come early, you can get your picture taken with a Sasquatch. What the hell else do you have going on that night? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs show? Get ready to drop that crowd like a hot potato-- We don't want that them seeing our movie, anyway. Whatever those kids have is probably contagious, and I can think of a million and one more preferable ways to die than to slowly rot away from Poseur-itis.

Still at Quintiles, in case you care, and I've got two more days to go... People ask me about side effects all the time, and I feel it is my responsibilty to report that I've been experiencing some strange goings-on around my poop-chute area. Anyone who knows me will be quick to tell you that I'm a guy who takes pride in his bowel movements. I typically enjoy four to five a day, minimum, each one a model of perfection in both texture and girth... But ever since I started on this blood thinner routine, what was once a sleek, slender python has taken on the consistency of a snail shell, rock-hard and painfully difficult to squeeze out. For those of you in the medical profession, you'll note that this is what is commonly referred to as a "TYPE ONE" on the handy Bristol Stool Chart:

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It is to be hoped that things return to normal down there once my body has purged this drug from my system... I'm giving it a week and a half, tops, before I begin litigation for MENTAL ANGUISH. Seriously, I can't deal with any sort of disruption in my daily brownie-baking cycle.

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August 2012

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