scary_manilow: (Starring... ME!)
[personal profile] scary_manilow
I plan to start shooting my new movie in a couple of weeks (my first REAL solo mission!), and I'm terrified from brain to balls. I want to get this first scene under my belt before the cold weather hits, then tinker with sets all winter long so I'm all set to dive into the main plot next spring. I'll be utilizing an actor I don't personally like (this being the "murder" part of the murder mystery, his screen time will be blissfully and brutally short), I have yet to cast any principal leads... fuck, the script hasn't even been completely written yet. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I guess I have to begin somewhere. And besides, if I can't bring myself to start this thing, what hope do I ever have of finishing it?

Three months left in 2007, and I have to admit that this has been one of the top five worst years of my life. Some of you may have noticed a steep decline in Livejournal posts these past 9 months... The moments of glory have been few and far between, I'm afraid, and I resolved long ago to stop boring my Friends List with the intimate details of my most depressing moments.

On the other hand, 2007 has been my most lucrative year, creatively... Whoever said there was no correlation between psychic misery and artistic output must have been a shill for some global antidepressant company. If unrelenting stress and a soul-wrenching blue streak translates into higher creative returns, then bring on the heartache, man!

Here are my resolutions for 2008 (three months in advance, even!):

1. Condense and compartmentalize. I have too much stuff-- movies, books, clothes and knick-knacks-- and too little of it is relevant to my lifestyle. CLEAN IT OUT! This goes for friends, too... If you aren't on my "A" list, you'd better start watching your step. (kidding) (not really)

2. Chill on the booze. Scale back from an every day drunk to a mildly social imbiber. Too many of this year's problems were alcohol-related, and I'm getting too old to harbor and wild Bukowski-esque fantasies about myself. Scale back on the sauce, and scale back on the friendships with people who do nothing else but drink.

3. The Spook Lights go NATIONAL. For real this time. We're recording next week, and I want to tour like a motherfucker next spring. Kelly and I can dump any dead weight we deem necessary-- It's time to take this show on the road, with or without the current lineup.

4. Work on this all-ages club thing. Some kids I know in town are trying to wrangle the funds to open one up, and I've offered to help set up a few benefit shows at the bar for them. Also maybe do some flier work and see about booking a few bands from time to time. This music scene has treated me pretty fucking good for the past 15 years-- I figure it's high time I gave something back to it. Plus, if I'm really planning on moving away in a couple of years, ti would be nice to leave something more behind than just a fashionable memory.

5. Stop caring so much. Look, just because I'm your pal doesn't mean I give a shit about your wanky poetry or lame-ass jam band. Likewise, just because I'm your bartender doesn't mean I care about your meaningless problems. I'm sorry to hear you don't have a home or any money to feed yourself... But riddle me this: How the fuck can you afford to sit in the bar and bitch to me every afternoon? Take it on down the road, buddy-- preferably to the job placement office.
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August 2012

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