Oooh-La-La!

Oct. 1st, 2007 01:14 pm
scary_manilow: (weird-0)
[personal profile] scary_manilow
There's this magazine called DETAILS that has been around forever, but I've never troubled myself to peruse an issue. Until yesterday, that is, whilst lingering in the dressing room area of a local resale shop. Kelly was trying on clothes, I was sitting on a couch, and there was a big stack of magazines sitting on the table beside me. Right on top was an issue of DETAILS. Figuring, What the fuck?, I picked it up and flipped ot a random page.

The article was 10 SIGNS YOUR WIFE MAY BE CHEATING ON YOU. Some of the red alerts on the list included SHE STOPS NAGGING YOU and SHE GETS AN UNEXPECTED WAX JOB. Ya-a-a-wn. I flipped to the next page.

WHEN TO GO ANAL. Subtitled: NOW THAT ANAL SEX HAS GONE MAINSTREAM, MORE MEN ARE STARTING TO DEMAND IT ON THE FIRST DATE... AND HERE'S WHY! This article was illustrated by an image of a woman's ass with a photshopped trail tunnel blasting between the cheeks.

I closed the magazine. In less than thirty seconds, I was able to identify the target demographic for DETAILS magazine: Passive-aggressive closet-cases whose wives are cheating on them because they compulsively force anal sex upon them every night. Am I mistaken about this?

Here's my tentative list for this month's 80'S VHS HORROR FEST... THis isn't set in stone by any means, and I'm certainly open to comments and suggestions!

THE GATE
CHOPPING MALL
WAXWORKS
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS
BRAIN DAMAGE

I kind of blew my load last year-- RE-ANIMATOR,FRANKENHOOKER, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2, and MOTLE HELL. How can I hope to match an all-star lineup like that one?
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