Nov. 25th, 2005 11:21 am
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Ma and Pa stuffed themselves like game hens yesterday, then sat around and felt sorry for ourselves over how gluttonous we've become. What happened to the starving young class warriors of yesteryear? Ever since I got a BANK CARD, my inner socialist voice has been reduced to a squeak in the woods.

Reminders that I'm stuck in the midwest:

A woman came into the bakery this week wearing a t-shirt that said "JESUS LOVES ME THIS MUCH." Above this was a picture of Jesus with his arms stretched out on the cross. Do I need to add that she was purchasing a loaf of good old fashioned WHITE BREAD? Delicious.


HANSON came to town this week. Only in Kansas would this be a newsworthy event. There was a mile-long line of middle school girls camped out in front of Liberty Hall for several nights in anticipation of their arrival. Some of them were bearing home made signs: "We LOVE You!" and "MARRY ME!"

[ profile] secret_malady and I encountered them one evening while trying to enter the video store.

ME: What the fuck's going on here?
K: Oh, gawd, HANSON is coming to town!

A couple of Hanson fans blocked the door, standing between us and the inviting warmth of Liberty Hall Video.

HANSON FANS: Whooo! Hanson! Whooo!

K: ARGGH! Look at all these little TWERPS!

She roughly pushed these mewling brats aside to clear a path. They tumbled into the street, where they were immediately run over and killed by the Hanson tour bus. Score another one for THE PROGRAM!

TODAY: More food, because I'm a fucking PIG. Then, we're off to a fun-filled afternoon at my uncle's funeral. Ugh.

TOMORROW: Back to work, hoorah. Working on remake of "The Slaves of Mary Jane." HOORAH!


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