Terror At 20,00 Feet!
May. 24th, 2006 02:58 pmOur plane leaves for Chicago at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning... Finally getting a break from my daily routing of knee-breaking and bread-making. Five whole days without having to throw any bums out of the Jackpot for huffing paint in the bathroom! Five whole days without having to wake up at four a.m. and bake scones for impolite yuppie fuckwads! It almost seems too good to be true.
It should be known that I am not-so-secretly TERRIFIED of flying. I've only been on a plane once before, and I hyperventilated as soon as we took off... I felt like that hysterical woman on AIRPLANE! who keeps screaming until all the other passenger line up and start beating her. Thankfully, that didn't happen to me, but a similar scenario could arise at any time. Tomorrow is another day, yadda yadda yadda.
So... If you hear about a midair collision over Illinois tomorrow, or wake up to see footage of a hijaked plane crashing into the Sears Tower, please remember myself and
secret_malady as the most beautiful and talented minds of our generation, and immortalize in elaborate musical numbers that will inspire fashionable young drunks for centuries to come. We will always love you all.

If nothing happens to us, I'll be back with a full report on Monday. Count on it!
It should be known that I am not-so-secretly TERRIFIED of flying. I've only been on a plane once before, and I hyperventilated as soon as we took off... I felt like that hysterical woman on AIRPLANE! who keeps screaming until all the other passenger line up and start beating her. Thankfully, that didn't happen to me, but a similar scenario could arise at any time. Tomorrow is another day, yadda yadda yadda.
So... If you hear about a midair collision over Illinois tomorrow, or wake up to see footage of a hijaked plane crashing into the Sears Tower, please remember myself and
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If nothing happens to us, I'll be back with a full report on Monday. Count on it!